You don't have to fit into traditional relationship models
Monogamous “happily ever after” narratives of finding a single person who can and should meet your every need are broadcasted constantly throughout mainstream media and consciousness. However, the promise and goal of marriage with your one true love are often not particularly fulfilling or realistic. Oftentimes, people balk under the pressure of this fantasy when it fails to meet their expectations. Despite what the messages of society would have you believe, there are in fact multiple healthy ways to do relationships. These could include having multiple sexual or romantic partners, queerplatonic partnerships, or coming from a relational anarchy standpoint of prioritizing relationships outside of romantic or sexual context, among so many other relational configurations! Therapy is a great place to explore what it means to live authentically, and create the relationships that work for the people in them, rather than forcing people to fit into mainstream scripts.
Common reasons people seek polyamory or ENM therapy with us
Identity Exploration
Perhaps you are an individual or member of a couple that is ready to explore what non-monogamy might look or feel like for you. Maybe you suspect you might have a nonmonogamous relationship orientation or are simply curious. Perhaps you are in a previously monogamous relationship and wish to explore opening. While there are many resources out there (perhaps even an information overload), therapy can provide a unique tailored approach to your individual needs and vulnerabilities in the process.
ENM Discernment Counseling
One partner wants to open up and the other does not. This is an incredibly common reason why couples come to us for therapy. With empathy, tenderness, and curiosity, we begin to explore the deeper desires and unmet needs, attachment wounds and insecurities that bubble to the surface in a difficult situation such as this. Through this work we help couples assess and understand themselves and each other to determine the course forward for each partner.
Attachment, Communication, & Conflict
Intimate relationships expose the most vulnerable parts of ourselves, often triggering childhood attachment wounds and behavioral patterns from past traumatic experiences. This can be especially challenging when there isn’t as much support and broader knowledge of understanding how to navigate these issues within multiple relationships or polycules. Communication issues and conflict resolution are some of the top reasons couples seek therapy, but these challenges must be addressed and explored uniquely for people practicing ENM or other alternative relationship styles.
Our Approach
Each of the therapists in our practice has their own unique style, but we all have shared values in working with ENM and alternative relationship structures. We understand relationships as complex systems, considering how any characteristic, behavior, or change within one individual impacts every other part of the relational system. We understand how developmental attachment trauma, internalized shame, systemic oppression and societal marginalization can shape and negatively impact an individual’s ability to build and maintain healthy relationships. This is an exceptionally unique experience for those who chart their own course by choosing to live and love outside of the norms of mainstream culture.
We Understand You
Every therapist at our practice identifies with some form of alternative relationship structure, from relationship anarchy to solo polyamory. Whether you are new to this world or well-seasoned and practiced, you can expect to talk to someone who can provide empathy, shared understanding, and authentic personal and professional experience.
Celebrating community in every form
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ENM Specialized Therapy
Relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Whether you are exploring consensual non-monogamy for the first time, navigating challenges within an established relationship system, or seeking greater clarity about what you want, therapy can offer a space for reflection, connection, and growth.
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Identity and relationship orientation exploration
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Exploring authenticity in relationships
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Navigating relationship transitions
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Communication and conflict resolution
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Attachment insecurity, jealousy, and comparison
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Repairing ruptures and rebuilding trust
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Clarifying agreements
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Setting and maintaining boundaries
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Creating sustainable relationship structures